The twin flame connection is the deepest level of soul connection that has been observed to date. Everyone has a twin. The twin souls split at the beginning of time, each going separate ways to gather life experience and learn lessons. Once enough lessons have been learned, the twin souls begin the process of reuniting. The purpose of this reunion is to accelerate the learning of lessons. This acceleration, coupled with the newly reawakened deep connection makes the twin flame relationship one of the most intense experiences to be had in human form. How can this be?
First off, many people get stuck on the fact that this particular relationship is unlike any other relationships he or she may have experienced. Yes! That is the point! We each only have one twin flame, hence this relationship will be very different from all other relationships. Accepting that the rules are different for this relationship is one of the first steps toward keeping the intensity at a level that allows both parties to function on a day to day basis. Once this happens, you can start to rewrite your own set of rules together, based on what works for the two of you.
Second, many people tend to realize early on that this twin is not who they would have chosen for themselves. The twin may be different and not at all what is expected. Often, a twin flame may find themselves confused and overwhelmed, asking if this is really helping at all. Well, nobody asked you! Your twin was determined at the beginning of your time, and you split so you each could learn lessons. Often what you have worked out is directly in line with things your twin needs to work out, and/or the same for yourself. This creates what is described as the "mirror effect". In your twin, you see all of your own strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, you are experiencing a connection that CANNOT be broken. That means that anything you have not worked out previously is going to come to the surface. When it does, the intensity level of the relationship goes up. Once the issue has been worked through by both twins, the intensity level drops, until the next issue comes along. How do you work through these? Good question....keep reading.
Finally, let’s talk about the intensity level. The first realization a twin flame must come to, is that this relationship is designed to be intense. If things aren’t intense at some point, then this is not your twin flame. This is not a smooth relationship, it takes a lot of work, but the payoff is the growth that comes out of the bumps in the road. Also, you will find many parts of this relationship to be counter-intuitive, meaning that often you may need to act the opposite way you would in a traditional relationship.Without these intensities the twin flames would never reach the level of unconditional love and that is the real point here isn't it? "Unconditional love means love without condition, correct? Love without requirements, free of oaths and contracts, expectations and attachments. Love that is offered without the anticipation of getting something in return. Love that does not need to be coddled or catered to, in order for it to flow. Love given free of contingencies or qualifications. A Love impervious to approval or disapproval." There is no jealousy, no manipulation, no "but you promised".... no greed and no lies.
For example, a typical reaction in a relationship when things start to get too intense is to cool it for awhile, take some time off. In a twin flame relationship, this does not work. Why? Because when one or both twins starts pulling away, the intensity will increase. This is the universe pulling them back together so that whatever lesson needs to be learned happens. The way to decrease the intensity, is to pull closer together, and get through it. Confusing? Positively! Awkward? Definitely!
So how does one survive, let alone function on a day to day basis? By being willing to work through each situation, and fully committing yourself to the twin flame experience, both of you can strike a balance that can make life not only less intense, but even enjoyable for both of you.
Issue #1- He/she is not like any of my other friends/lovers etc! We are so physically far apart! This is not at all what I envisioned for myself!
You must accept that this relationship will be like no other. We do not physically select our twin flame. Instead, our twin flame is born at the beginning of the journey when the souls split. The process of reuniting begins when it is time to do so on the spiritual plane, which may not always be the best of timing on the physical plane. A twin flame reunion usually begins with a chance meeting between the two souls. Often, that meeting will occur due to a shared passion. The relationship then takes off at a faster than normal pace, with both parties becoming closer to the other quickly. This happens because even though you may have just met on the physical level, your souls have known each other for an eternity. Letting go of all expectations and comparisons to other relationships will help keep this relationship in perspective. Tell yourself that this person is not like anyone else you know, they are your twin. Expect issues to pop up that do not pop up in any other relationship. Be prepared to work through issues as they pop up, and realize that people not involved in the relationship are most likely not going to have a frame of reference for what you are experiencing. Issues in a twin flame relationship are meant to be worked out by the twin souls. Commit yourself to opening up to your twin as together you solve each problem. Trust me, together you WILL work through the issues.
Issue #2 Everything is so intense! I feel like nothing makes sense to me any more!
The twin flame relationship is the deepest, most intense connection there is. It often does not initially make sense on the physical plane. This is because a twin flame connection is not primarily a physical or body connection. It is not a purely emotional connection either, but a connection on the spiritual or astral plane between two same souls. Expect certain things to not make sense on the physical plane. How can you deal with this confusion? There are a few ways to handle this:
First, you need to approach every situation with the mindset, that the intensity will decrease, it’s just a matter of when and what you need to do to make that happen. One of the things that make the twin flame relationship unique is that there can be nothing between you. If situations do come blocking that closeness, the universe will begin to pull the twin souls together. The less close the twins are, the greater the intensity and the pull toward each other. DO NOT be afraid. Relax and believe that everything has a purpose. There is a reason for this and it also shall pass.
When the intensity begins to increase, first off, DON’T FIGHT IT! Fighting it will only serve to make things more intense, add drama, and make life difficult for both of you. Try to determine why the intensity is increasing. In a twin flame relationship, the intensity increases when there is a lesson to be learned. Talk about this together. If distance is an issue, pick up the phone. Try to work through it, even though it may prove extremely frustrating at times. If the phone isn’t working, get together and lock yourselves in a room somewhere, with the intent to work through it. Begin each conversation by reminding yourself that the goal is to move closer to your twin by solving the issue. If you are really struggling, get physically close together. It may seem counter-intuitive to the point of being awkward, but force yourselves to have the conversation physically touching each other. The physical awkwardness can sometimes push you towards a solution quicker as it forces you to be aware of each other.
Issue #3- He/she knows every button and pushes them constantly. Am I going crazy?
Ah yes, welcome to what is known as the mirror effect. Knowing your twin flame is like standing in front of a mirror 24/7. Everything about you, the fantastic and the terrible, is reflected back in your twin. If a button is being pushed, your first inclination needs to be to look inside yourself, because the annoyance is most likely something you need to work on. It wouldn't bother you so much if this weren't so. If you are struggling to figure out exactly what is causing the issue, again, talk if over together and listen attentively with an open mind. The answer may surprise you and open the door to further growth. Remember you are looking at a mirror and the annoyance may be at yourself. "Why does he/she worry so much? What makes him/her so self assured? Why can't she/he listen when I talk? Why can't he/she see this as I see it?, etc"
Issue #4 He/she needs more than I can give, or I don’t feel I am capable of being who he/she needs me to be. I can't do this any more!
This is a common misconception born out of fear. It is false, because you already are everything your twin needs you to be. It is all inside you, and situations with your twin are designed to bring it out. You may need to remind yourself that your twin sees the whole you, and may sense parts of you that your conscious mind is unaware of. You may even share things on an unconscious level, perhaps in dreams or involuntary gestures. In these instances, you must learn to trust your twin and the relationship. Remember that everything happens for a reason and explore the connection with that in mind.
You may also be fearful of making a mistake, causing pain to yourself and your twin. Expect that you will make mistakes. This may not be your first relationship, but as far as twin flame relationships go, both of you are rookies. If you make a mistake and cause damage, remember that all damage can be repaired. So you pulled away, you have another person at your side? That’s perfectly acceptable. Just reach out to him/her as soon as you realize a mistake has been made. Do not underestimate the power of being the first to say I’m sorry and everything is going to be alright.
The other piece to all this is unconditional love. Every loving relationship, be it family, friends, enemies, or even romance, is preparing you to deal with your twin flame. If you have met your twin flame, you are ready. Remember that there is nothing you can do that will break the connection, or cause your twin to love you any less. You can use the mirror to help with this. Simply love your twin unconditionally and the way you would want to be loved. Over time, the mirror effect will begin to reflect this back toward you, and you will begin to see yourself as your twin sees you. Banish “I can’t” from your vocabulary. Instead, reach toward your twin in moments of confusion or uncertainty and say “help me.”
The best advice given to twin flames is never give up! Things may get difficult at times, but never stop reaching for, and supporting each other. Ask your twin what they need on a regular basis and be prepared to take care of each other. Do not focus on what others have to say, for in this relationship, the only importance is on the two twin flames. If one twin loses their way, pull them back in. The end reward, unconditional love, is worth it. Trust in this connection and believe in yourself and your twin flame.